They're Bound
by FoRbIdDiN.fRuIt
Summary: She broke into so many pieces. And all she wants to know is. Why won't things go her way? It's been three years and he's back. But can he pick up all the pieces? "After all they are bound for eternity." Amuto. On Hiatus.
1. Prolouge

"I love you."

Those three simple words connected them, bound them together for all of eternity. Like a dark red ribbon tied their fingers together. One string, two people.

The girl, falling deeply she didn't know it, for him. She had her outer character, the stubborn one. And her inner one, sweet and loving, that cared about all her friends so much. Bright pink hair and honey colored eyes, petite middle yet strong, and passionate about life. She was 4 years younger than him. He annoyed her to no end. Driving her crazy with his perverted ways, but when he left, her world came tumbling down on top of her.

The boy, he loved her too no end. He seemed like he was part cat. Everyone noted that. He was older than, her 4 years. Dark sapphire eyes and hair, tall and muscular, he fit perfectly with her. He needed her to survive, but he just had to leave, to keep his life together. But he was coming back. And little did he know, her life was broken beyond repair. Or so he thought.

After all, they are bound for eternity. And their string, was stronger than they both knew.

**A/n: Not much changed here. Added some random string stuff. (shrugs) I'm really tired and I just started redoing this… Gimme some credit.**

**((Edited on February 25, 2010))**


	2. Chapter One: Hurt

See that girl right there? The one walking with her head down? Not meeting everyone's curious looks? Avoiding the stares of the friends she once trusted? That's me, Hinamori Amu. I'm 15 years old and have bubble gum pink hair down to my lower back. I used to be the one to smile at you right away, I was so strong, so confident, but I was naive. It was because he left though. It was never my fault. Not that I blame him…

_-Flashback- About 3 years ago__Easter__._

The rain was the best music as Ikuto pulled me close. It felt nice, Ikuto's warmth, and the rain rolling down our skin. He pulled his head back and looked me in the eyes. His eyes, beautiful pools of sapphire, bore into mine, they were filled with agony. Fear, an emotion that Ikuto almost never showed, was very evident in his features. He looked away after about thirty seconds thought, not wanting to show me his emotions, but for some reason he had to keep looking into my eyes. The amusement park's colors seemed to dull along with all the color draining from my face. I looked at Ikuto. His face resembled the look he had worn while fighting

"What's wrong?" my voice shook a little when I asked this. His eyes met mine again. It seemed as if the pain was even more pronounced in his face now.

"I'm leaving," he started. Immediately tears flooded down my cheeks. Did I do something wrong? Does Ikuto hate me? "I have an idea of where my father is, I'm going to look for him." my tears slowed a little. Ikuto wiped my slowing tears and whispered a goodbye before planting a quick kiss on my lips and pulling away before my face could heat up. When I opened my eyes Ikuto was gone. I was left in the pouring rain looking at all the bright colors and watched them dull along with my life.

-End Flashback-

My life hasn't been the same since Ikuto left. It's dull and I pulled back from all my friends except Rima and Nagihiko. Rima helps me stay myself, sort of. I don't think I will be the same ever again.

I'm walking to health class. Rima's talking about her date she had with Nagihiko last night. I laughed when she said the waiter thought Nagihiko was a girl. I keep telling him, just cut his hair, even if it is only a few inches. That also reminds me when Nagihiko was actually going to cut his hair… Poor Rima.

_-Flashback- About 1 year ago_

_Nagihiko and I were sitting with Rima in the Royal garden. Basking in our memories here. Suddenly Nagihiko started to talk._

"_I'm getting my hair cut today." I looked at him and raised a brow. Yeah right. "I'm serious Amu-chan" he whined. I laughed and shook my head. I looked over at Rima to see her eyes wide and face pale. She latched onto Nagihiko's arm._

"_No, Nagi don't." Rima's voice was small. "It's too pretty for you to cut." Nagihiko looked at me and we shared a look, I held my laughter in as Nagihiko answered._

"_Rima, guys don't want to have _pretty_ hair!" He exclaimed before bursting out into laughter._

"_Oh shut up you cross-dresser." She mumbled out. Oh that's right, they hadn't gotten together yet. _

_That day, all though it had been the two year anniversary of Ikuto's leaving. Was the highlight of my year. _

_-End Flashback-_

I continued to walk with Rima as she kept talking about her date. I sighed and shook my head trying so hard to keep up. Rima looked at me quickly and smiled sheepishly, knowing that sometimes I just can't keep up with her and her talking.

"Its fine," I smiled. I walked ahead of Rima and what I saw made me want to turn around and walk back out. Tadase, he was look toward the door and smiled at me. I go through this _every_ day.

"Hello Amu-_chan_," Tadase said "sweetly". Bull. Tadase is insane. After Ikuto being gone for about a year and a half, he started hitting me, pushing me, _screaming_ at me. Why you might ask? Because he can't understand why I miss Ikuto so much. To tell you the truth, neither do I.

I nodded toward Tadase, telling him I heard him. I'd never done that before so I was scared of how he would react. Rima and I sat down at our desk. I saw anger rise in Tadase's face I shrunk back in my chair as he made his way over to our desk.

The next thing he did made our entire class gasp in horror. I didn't even feel it, I heard it. It rang through the class like a bell ringing loudly in an empty hall, the sound of Tadase's hand slapping across my face. What he said though, ripped my heart.

"Get the _fuck_ over him." Rima's face, swiftly turned from shock to pure rage as she punched him in the stomach, _hard_.

"Stay away from us Hotori." Rima growled. That's when it hit me, the burn of Tadase's slap, and the real feelings I had been pushing to the side. They both burnt like wildfires, taking over everything, leaving everything behind chard and dead. Actual tears started running down my cheeks, I haven't cried since Ikuto left me in the rain. I watched as Tadase was pulled out of the class by our sensei.

I faintly felt Rima tugging me out of the classroom and down the hall. Her arms wrapped around me, they were protecting me from all the bad things, the things and people that wanted to suck the life out of me. Rima let my sob into her shoulder, my tears drenching her uniform's coat. She's been there for me, caring about me, pushing me to become myself again. People around me don't notice, but Rima does, slowly I am becoming myself again.

I suddenly heard a deeper, yet worried voice. I look toward the voice with careful eyes. It was Nagihiko. His eyes held mine, questioning my tears. He opened his arms for a hug, Rima's arms fell off me and she encouraged me to hug Nagihiko. I backed up toward the wall. Nagihiko is nice, but so was Tadase, what if he tries to heart me?

Nagihiko looked at me with a curious expression and his hand touched my bruised arm. I yelped and pushed myself against the wall. Tears flooded down my cheeks in fear. I was shaking, bad and I was more that terrified.

"Pleas-se ju-just don't t-touch me." My voice shook.

"What's wrong Amu-chan?" I flinched at the honorific. Rima was looking at me. Her eyes wide as a curious kitten's. Nagihiko had always been my closest friend besides Rima. She was probably wondering why I was being so harsh to her boyfriend.

"W-what if he does what Tadase d-did." I managed out. Rima looked at me shocked, Nagihiko wondering what was going on.

"Nagi would _never _do that." I watched as Nagihiko's face angered. I shrunk back again, boys being mad scared me, and they are so much stronger than me. They had this strange aura, that could crush someone with their furry.

"What the hell did he do to Amu?" Nagihiko asked Rima.

"He slapped her." Rima said in a dead voice. My body shook as they shared infuriated looks. I had to tell them that this wasn't the first time he had done something like this.

"I'm going to-" Nagihiko started as I mumbled trying to get it out quickly, startling him. "What is it Amu?"

"That wasn't the first time he's done something like that." I pulled up the sleeve of my uniform showing the my bruise covered arm. Rima gasped and Nagihiko glared at my arm. "Whenever he sees me alone he does something, like push me down, grab my arms, force me to kiss him, he always leave a mark. Even if its tiny." My voice died leaving the three of us in a silence.

"How long Amu-chan?" Nagihiko asked, trying to keep calm. I shook at that honorific again. I was scared to answer, scared of his furry.

"About a year and a half," I said in a small voice. I was scared of Nagihiko's reaction. His face twisted and he punched the wall I was leaning on. A loud thud rang through the hall, the three of us silent as the grave.

"Why didn't tell us?" asked Rima, her voice calm and caring. I looked at her, willing myself not to cry anymore, but failing miserably.

"He said he'd do worse to me if I did." My voice was still quiet, tears running down my cheeks at a slow but steady pace.

"That bastard is going to pay for hurting you Amu." Nagihiko promised his voice still hard with rage, Rima nodded, silently agreeing and pulling me into a hug. I hope they don't hurt him too much. A thought suddenly appeared in my head. All this time, I had never once though of it.

What would Ikuto say? More importantly, what would he _do_?

That thought. Scared me to no end.

**((Edited February 25, 2010))**

**A/n: Much like the prologue this wasn't edited much. I spent weeks planning out this first chapter before even taking and typing it out.**

**Fun Fact: I wrote this entire chapter in one period. (55min) I was in my health class and I got this idea. (we had been studying abuse) What if Amu was so depressed about Ikuto's leaving that Tadase got jealous and beat her? **

**And there my dear children, is where this story started, in my high school health class. **

**But sadly… I am in independent study now.**


	3. Chapter Two: They're Gone Too

Everyone was staring at me as I walked into the classroom, my eyes red and puffy and I was holding onto Rima for dear life. Our teacher still hadn't come back so _everyone_ had their phones out, no doubt telling everyone about Tadase hitting me and my break down. I sighed as Rima and I sat in our seats, just what I need, _more drama_.

It seems like I live off drama though. Since Ikuto left everyone has been watching me. They all think I'm strong, so well put together. I'm not, I may be healing, but I'm not the same 'cool and spicy' girl I used to be.

Oh yeah… And remember our charas… They all faded. It was sad, watching them all slowly disappear, for Nagihiko and Rima as they fell in love, for Yaya as she matured and didn't need Pepe anymore. Tadase as he became a cold-hearted ass. And my charas, they disappeared about four weeks after Ikuto left.

_-Flashback- About 2 years and 11 months_

_I walked into my room. It was still so unreal Ikuto wouldn't be knocking on my balcony door in a few hours like every night. I set Ran, Miki and Suu's eggs on my desk, they had been in their eggs. They didn't seem right though. They weren't as happy, they weren't as bright, and weirdly enough I could slightly see through them. I knocked on Miki's egg lightly. Her small head popped out from her egg. _

_Her face was as white as a ghost and I could see right through her. I gasped and pulled her out of her egg, she felt light, almost like I was holding a feather in my hand. _

"_Are you okay Miki?" I asked my voice soft and worried._

"_I don't feel well Amu-chan." Miki said her voice barely above a whisper. _

"_Where are Suu and Ran, Miki?" I asked her my voice still quiet. _

"_They're gone Amu-chan… I'll be gone soon too." Miki said looking at me with tear filled eye. My breath caught in my throat. They're leaving me too?_

"_B-but, why?" I asked my voice quivered with my unshed tears._

"_We can't help you anymore Amu. You _can_ live without us. We'll always be in your heart, don't forget what we did for you." Miki finished and floated back into her egg never to come out again. That night, I didn't cry. I held it in, and watched the sunrise, the unshed tears tearing holes in my heart._

_-End Flashback-_

Our teacher still hadn't come back to class by the time the bell rang. Rima picked up her books and looked at me, her eyes soft and questioning. I nodded my head silently telling her "I'm not okay, but I can still function." A lot for one nod I guess.

Rima and I have every class together… I don't know how, it just worked out that way. It seemed like god was telling me that I needed Rima, that she would help me through the things I needed help in.

"How are you Amu-chan?" Rima asked when we were walking toward our Math class. I shrugged my shoulders and looked at her with tired eyes.

"How would you be?" I asked without thinking, my voice harsh. My hand shot to my mouth and I looked apologetically at her, my eyes more sorry than you could ever believe.

"I'd be pretty shitty Amu. You need to open up some more." Rima looked ahead while talking, ignoring all the stares. We were used to them by now. The stares were different this time though… They were concerned, actually wanting to know if I was okay. I looked over at Rima and answered her question.

"I feel so worthless Rima. What Tadase did hurt, not just physically. I don't know if I'll be able to get over it. How can I trust someone if when I trusted Tadase he ended up hurting me so much?" Rima looked over at me surprised I had said so much. I don't usually talk. It's hard for me opening up and telling people how I feel. She grabbed my hand and held it as we kept walking to class, silently comforting me along the way. She knew we couldn't stop, we had class soon.

"You don't need to be so brave Amu. You will learn how to trust again, it might take awhile but, you'll get there." I smiled, a real smile. Rima always knew how to make me feel better. Rima smiled at me and let my hand go to go hug Nagihiko who was standing at the doorway of our math class. I smiled shyly at him, it was a ghost of a smile, a gentle scared smile. Nagihiko smiled back at me reassuring everything was okay.

"Hi Amu-chan," he said light and gently. I waved and walked into class leaving him and Rima to talk before the bell rang. When he said my name though, I didn't shiver at the honorific. I thought about Nagihiko being my friend… I thought of all the things he had done fore me… Maybe he wasn't going to hurt me. I smiled again when I thought this…

Rima would sure as hell beat him to death if he ever hurt me or her.

**((Edited February 25, 2010))**

**A/N: Meh; I guess there is more difference in this one. This is where I will be making DRASTIC changes in what I have written. So be aware my dear readers… be aware. **


	4. Chapter Three: It's Him

I walked into the class and saw all eyes were on me. I walked to my seat dismissing it and ignoring the gasps and mumblings about the bruise, which was now forming, on my cheek.

"Poor, Hinamori-san," I heard a girl whisper to her friend.

It was at that moment that I sensed it. It was a chara. But not just any chara, it was _his_ chara. My eyes widened and I looked toward the door waiting for Rima to come back her and Nagihiko walked into the room holding hands, like they have been since they got together. Rima saw my wide eyes and walked swiftly over to me.

"Are you okay Amu-chan?" she asked her voice caring. I felt my body shake.

"Can't you _feel_ that?" I growled out. I don't know why, but I was furious. Rima gasped.

"A chara!" she whisper yelled. (A/n: _yay an oxymoron!)_

"It's Yoru!" I said again, my eyes filling involuntarily with tears. Rima's eyes filled with concern. My body shook like an earthquake, it wasn't anger that I felt, it was fear.

"Do you think that means…?" I shrugged my shoulders and watched as our teacher walked in and started the lesson. I felt Yoru getting closer and closer through out the entire lesson.

Tears ran down my face as Yoru came closer. I couldn't deal with seeing Ikuto yet. I wasn't… okay, I wasn't the Amu he knew. I was different, I may not look it, but I sure as hell was. I let my tears dry, if I had to deal with Ikuto, I had to deal with him. Better sooner than later.

Math class continued to drone on as Yoru's position seemed to stay the same. I let my self get caught up in the class, actually answering one of the questions our sensei asked. Rima continued to watch me and whisper to Nagihiko through out the class, I could tell she thought I was going to break into a thousand pieces at any given moment.

Yoru moved closer again, ever so slightly. It seemed like he was outside the door. The bell rang and I got up slowly, it was time for lunch. I looked a Rima, my eyes tired and scared. She smiled at me a reassuring smile. I walked out the door and he was standing there in all his glory.

Tsukiyomi Ikuto. He had o his signature smirk and his eyes were filled with love. Love… He still thought he loved me… Rima smiled and waved at him, probably thinking he would make me better. Rima and Nagihiko walked off holding hands and smiling after a brief hello. My eyes were still stuck on him.

Why would he come back, after three years? I had unconsciously given up on him coming back. I looked at the floor and continued to think, my thoughts going to that fact that I had given up unknowingly. That I didn't think he was standing in front of me.

"Amu-chan," his Husky voice rang through my ears. My eyes whipped up to his face and tears filled my eyes, _just like Tadase_. I thought that and started backing up shaking my head as tears rolled down my cheeks. No, I couldn't. I just _couldn't_.

"I-I'm not that girl anymore Ikuto." I turned around before he could say anything. I didn't want to see his face scrunch up in pain. I didn't want to cry in front of him, but most of all, I didn't want him to see all that had happened to me. But also I was scared of what he could do to me. I heard his strong footsteps behind me as I kept walking. I exited out the door to the courtyard where Nagihiko, Rima and I ate lunch with Ikuto still behind me.

Rima saw us walking over and ran over with a smile on her face. Her face fell as she saw my eyes staring at the ground and the tars falling down my cheeks. Ikuto tried grabbing onto my arm and I yelped feeling his hard grip on my bruise covered arm. Rima looked at Ikuto and he shrugged eyes trying so hard to hold mine. He still had a hold on my arm and I was squirming to get out of his touch.

Tears were still pouring down my cheeks as my breath hitched in my throat. Ikuto was going to hurt me, he was going to force himself on me and hit me. I just knew he was. I managed to get out of his grasp and slipped behind Rima.

"Amu-chan…" Ikuto's voice was sad as he tried to get me to look at him. Hesitantly, I looked up. His eyes were sad, worried, and curious. I held his eyes for no more than 10 seconds, anymore and I'd just end up hurting myself even more. "What's wrong Amu?" Ikuto's voice was stronger this time. I had to get him away, this was going to hurt him, and I felt so shitty for it.

"Just get him away from me. Please!" I cried latching onto Rima. Ikuto's eyes widened and so did Rima's. "I can't deal with all of this today." My voice was small, child-like again. Rima looked down at me and nodded. Pushing Ikuto away and talking to him along the way.

"She been through a lot to day Tsukiyomi Ikuto, let her be. She'll open up, she always does, and just be patient." Rima was comforting Ikuto, she knew he meant something to me. I watched them leave and turned to Nagihiko, tears flooding down my cheeks. He walked over, arms open I walked hesitantly to his arms and cried in his chest. Rima was right about Nagihiko, he meant well, but what about Ikuto?

What would he say to me, the girl who was broken…?

**((Edited February 25, 2010))**

**Bleh; I keep thinking yes, this chapter will be WAY different, but no, not much changes. **

**Basically I'm just going back and reading what I wrote and adding minor changes. Its bull shit. I'm sorry.**


	5. Chapter Four: Confronting

This rest of the day passed in a horrible blur. Rima dealt with me being all, sluggish, and tried so hard to cheer me up. But I couldn't, Ikuto was back. And I had hurt him in the first 15 minutes of seeing him.

Rima watched me as we walked to my house. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. He really was back… I looked hesitantly over at Rima.

"Today really happened huh?" I asked her, her head shot toward me, her eyes wide. She shook her head, her lips in a firm line.

"Yeah Amu-chan, it did." I nodded my head and looked at the ground, not wanting anyone to see my face. "About that boy Amu-chan," Rima started. I looked up at her reluctantly. "I was talking with him. He really cares about you, Tsukiyomi Ikuto. He told me how much he missed you while he was gone, how much it hurt _him_. You should've seen the look on his face. He wasn't hurt by what you said. He was hurt that you could be in so much _agony_." Rima's eyes met mine, she wasn't just telling some story to me. I knew she wasn't. Rima is my best friend and she has told me this,

_-Flashback- During Lunch_

"_Amu-chan! Why would I lie to you!? You are already hurt enough! The pain you feel, you can share it with me! I'm you best friend!" Rima yelled as I sat with my legs against my chest. I looked up at her, my eyes still red and puffy, I was still crying. I nodded and rested my head back on my knee caps._

_-End Flashback-_

Rima and I parted ways soon after. I put a smile on my face and kept my jacket on as I walked into my house, I couldn't hurt my parents, I loved them too much.

"Amu-chan!" My parents chorused as I walked into the living room. I waved at them and gave them the best smile I could. I made up an excuse and went up to my room like I always did.

I did my homework and studied for my test that would be held in math tomorrow. It was 5 o'clock by the time I had finished. My parents came up soon after and told me they were taking Ami out to watch a play. After they left I looked around my room. My lips forming a frown. I saw the four shugo chara eggs and let one tear fall. I really needed someone to talk to right now. Not Rima or Nagihiko. My charas, they would make me smile when I felt the worst. Right after Ikuto left, they always kept me smiling. Not matter what. Even though I had never really gotten to know Dia I loved her all the same. I laughed a bitter laugh and changed out of my school uniform. I wore a white tank top and a black ruffled skirt. My bruised arms fully exposed. I took the 'x' clips out of my hair and my hair up in a high pony tail. When I was done changing and doing my hair I flopped face first into my bed, sighing in frustration and embracing the warmth.

I heard a soft tap at the door of my balcony and my head shot up. Ikuto, his face was sad and pathetic. I laughed and saw that he was soaking wet, it has started to rain, just like every year on this day. He and Yoru were frowning as he yet again tapped on the door. I reluctantly got up and let him in. I excused myself from the room swiftly and brought two towels for Ikuto. I didn't say anything to him, I just watched as he dried his hair, arms and legs. I watched Yoru float around my room, probably searching for Miki. I watched his face fall as he saw the four eggs on my desk. He floated over to my blue spade egg and knocked on it.

"Miki?" he questioned the egg.

"She's gone Yoru," I shook my head as I said this. My voice was small and dull. Yoru's small face twisted in pain. "She faded along with Su and Ran about 3 year ago." I looked at Ikuto to see his face showing the same amount of pain. I watched his eyes travel over my body. His eyes froze as he saw my arms. _Shit_. I mentally cursed. I forgot I had a tank top on. I quickly tried to grab my coat but a large hand stopped me.

Ikuto pulled my hand toward him. He took his free hand and moved my face toward him. I kept my eyes on my bed. Ikuto wasn't having me not look at him. He tilted my head up more, roughly this time. I whimpered in fear as his angered eyes met mine. My body shook silently as I hear him question me.

"What happened?" Ikuto growled out. His eyes were angry. I tried to make up a lie. Sports? Yeah, blame it on sports.

"I'm in a lot of sports, and I fall-" I started Ikuto's eyes angered even more. This time, his anger was toward me.

"Bull shit Amu, I want the truth. I've been gone for three year and I come back to see you broke and bruised." My face scrunched up anger this time. I ripped my arm and face from his grasp. Mad that he thought he could point out the fact that yes, I'm broken.

"Yeah, you've been gone for three years." I said my eyes filling with tears, "You ever heard of a fucking phone?" I asked pain evident in my voice. Ikuto's eye grew wide, no doubt from shock at my use of foul language, and at how mad I truly was. "Not once did you call, text, not even a damn letter! You come back now, and you think you have the _right_ to know what the hell has happened to me!" I yelled tear pouring down my cheeks. I shook my head and walked across my room dropping into a chair at my desk. Not telling Ikuto to leave, just sitting. I wasn't done talking to him. I just needed to calm down. I took a deep breath and then Ikuto started talking.

"Yes, I never contacted you. I was jerk." He said, his eyes trying so desperately to hold mine. "I deserve the yelling and the screaming, but what I don't deserve is not knowing what happened. I care about you Amu." He got up and started walking toward me. "Remember what I told you? When you asked if there was a girl I liked." I nodded. "I meant it." I shook my head and was about to protest, but Ikuto's hand covered my mouth. "I loved you then, and love you now." Tears still fell from my eyes as he said this. "So I _need_ to know what happened to you." Both of his hands rest on my cheeks as brought his face closer to mine. My eyes widened and my breath caught in my throat.

_-Flashback-_

_Tadase pushed me hard into a wall and brought both of his hands to my cheeks and crashed his slimy lips onto mine. I squirmed and tried so hard to get out of his hold. He punched me in the stomach hard and I gasped in pain, he took this as an opportunity to shove his tongue in my mouth. Tears again flooded down my cheeks, just like last time. I thought. I stopped moving and let Tadase's hands roam my body, not moving because he would stop sooner if I didn't react._

_Tadase _never_ went further than kissing and letting his hands roam on the outside of my clothes. _

_-End Flashback-_

I pushed away from Ikuto as tears feel down my cheeks at an even faster pace. I watched as Ikuto's face fell and his eyes fill with worry. My breath came out in short gasps.

"Please Ikuto," I begged. "Don't touch me like that." I said before a sob escaped my throat. His eyes widened even more as I continued to cry. I curled up in a ball and calmed my self down. My knees were pulled to my chest and my head rested on my knee caps. Ikuto walked toward me and leveled his face with mine. It was a good foot away though. His eyes serious and dead.

"What the _hell_, happened to the Amu I knew." One last tear fell as his hand reached to my face one last time.

"So much, I wonder why I didn't just kill myself." The look of sorrow on Ikuto's face was one I will never forget as long as I live. Hah, bet you want to hear that story right?

**((Edited February 25, 2010))**

… **Nothing to say about this edit.**


	6. Chapter Five: The Truth

Ikuto's eyes were broken. I'm sure he was surprised I had even thought of suicide.

"What…?" Came his slow reply.

I let no more tears fall. I didn't _want_ to cry anymore, I was tired of it. I had enough for one day. Ikuto's eyes bore into mine, a million questions running through them. His hand still rested on my cheek, it was a way of him comforting me. He knew I didn't want to be touched, but couldn't find any other way to help. He stayed bending over and looking at me for the longest time. Finally he sat cross legged on the floor in front of my chair, sighing in what seemed like exasperation. I looked at him, I felt bad for doing this to him, but he was so much bigger than me, he could seriously hurt me.

"I'm so sorry Ikuto." I apologized, the silence scared me, and I felt like it was screaming every truth at me. Ikuto shot an annoyed look at me.

"Why are you apologizing for being hurt?" his voice was dead. He had been deep in thought. "Can't you just tell me what happened?" I thought it over. I could tell him what… but not who.

"Yeah, I'll tell you _what_ happened." His eyes looked relieved yet they showed worry, like he wasn't sure if he actually wanted to know. "Someone has been hurting me, hitting me, grabbing me, screaming at me, and forcing them self on me." I watched as Ikuto's hands balled into fists. I couldn't look at his face, it would hurt too much. "It's been going on for about a year and a half. Rima and Nagihiko just found out today." I looked up at Ikuto's face slowly. He was furious. Nagihiko's furry was no match to what Ikuto's face showed now.

"Who did Amu?" his voice was hard, his anger showed through his voice. I pushed my chair back form him, anger scared me. That's the reason Tadase did all those things to me.

"I said I would tell you _what_ happened, not _who_ did it." I said my eye on the floor. They involuntarily filled with tears again. My shoulders shook with the sobs I refused to release. Ikuto gently moved my face to look at him. His eyes no longer furious, they showed worry.

"You don't have to protect him Amu." He said his voice calm. He was still mad, that I could tell he was just more worried about me. I shook my head after he said this.

"I'm not protecting him." I said tears still falling, "He deserves punishment. I'm just not ready to admit that it was someone that I trusted." I said. Ikuto nodded and looked into my eyes, my heart beat sped up. _Just like before_, I thought. I felt me cheeks heat up a little bit. And then Ikuto smiled. Not his usual smirk, a _real_ smile. I let my tears fall freely now, I felt a little safer, maybe I could learn to trust Ikuto. Maybe, just maybe he wasn't going to hurt me. And maybe, he could help put me back together again. I hesitantly wrapped my arms around his neck and let my tears fall in the crook of his neck, letting sobs come and letting all the tears I had been holding since I had first seen Ikuto fall. His arms wrapped around my waist as he pulled me into his lap. He hushed me through my sobs, told me everything would be okay. And whoever had hurt me, was going to pay.

"I won't let anyone ever hurt you again Amu-chan," Ikuto whispered from the top of my head. He had placed his chin on the top of my head and was rubbing circles into my back. I tried so hard to believe him, I really did, but I couldn't, not yet. "Why, Amu, why would you even think about suicide?"

Tears stained my cheeks again, falling down in a rush. I let out a breath, my brain filling with the vivid flashbacks…

_-Flashback- A year ago._

_So many thoughts were rushing through my head. Voices yelled at me, screamed curses at me. They told me I was worthless, they told me I was fake, that I should just kill myself. _

_That's how I got there, the floor of my bathroom, a knife and a bottle of pills in my hands. I was scared, but I wasn't. I just, I couldn't take it anymore. I don't remember much after that but I do remember my family's screams._

_I remember the lights, the voices and the tears falling on my face. They weren't mine, Ami's voice was shaking, and she was 8. _8 _fucking years old. And I did that, and she found me. _

_The next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. Strapped to a bed, and truly terrified. I didn't stay in the hospital long, about 2 weeks. I recovered quickly and went back to my normal routine. The only thing different being my therapy session every Monday and Friday. Only my family, the teachers and headmaster, Rima and Nagihiko knew about my suicide attempt. And none of them dare to ask me about it. The questions that came the days following the incident were scary._

xxx

_Rima walked up to me, her eyes furious, Nagihiko followed behind her, silent. I felt her hand slam across my face as her eyes filled with real tears._

"_HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT AMU!" she screamed at me, her small frame shaking. Nagihiko walked up next to her and took her hand, not meeting my eyes. His voice was calm when he spoke after Rima though._

"_Do you even know how worried we were Amu-chan?" Nagihiko asked. I looked down, feeling my eyes fill with tears that just wouldn't fall. I looked up at them my face showing real emotion._

"_I'm s-sorry." I said. I felt my legs give out and brought my hands to my face and shook with the sobs that held no tears. "I-it was like people w-were screaming at me. Telling me j-just to go kill myself. Like they hated me, like everyone was out to get me." My knees scraped against the bricks of my porch as I sat collapsed on the ground spilling my true feelings. I looked up at them, my eyes still filled with never falling tears. "I couldn't burden you with that." Rima didn't look at me, her head was turned to the side as she still shook with her silent sobs. Nagihiko lowered down in front of me, his eyes meeting mine fore the first time since they had arrived._

"_Don't think that," he said, staring at me with caring eyes. "Your problems are our problems." I nodded and looked at Rima. _

"_I'm sorry Rima." My voice was sincere. She looked down at me, her eyes scared and forgiving. She quickly grabbed me in a hug and sobbed into my shirt._

"_Just don't ever do that again Amu, it was so scary." I hesitantly wrapped my arms around her and comforted her. Apologizing time and time again into her hair. After about a half an hour of Rima crying into my shirt she pulled herself together and turned to Nagihiko._

"_Take me home cross dresser." Rima said in her usual bored tone. Nagihiko sighed._

"_Rima-chan, that's no way to talk to your boyfriend." Nagihiko half whined at her, his voice teasing. Her face erupted in a blush. She stuttered out unintelligible things. I swear I choked on my own spit. I coughed looking in between the two._

"_B-boyfriend!?" I asked incredulously. Rima looked at me and smiled in a sheepish manner before rubbing the back of her head._

"_Well," she started. "The day you were admitted to the hospital… We got together?" she said the last sentence coming out a question. I shook my head while standing. _

"_I can't say I'm surprised." I said. "And I guess I'm… happy? For you guys." I said. I tried smiling but just ended up shaking my head. "Sorry." The two smiled and parted with me, telling me before they left that the school knew I had been in the hospital, just they thought it was for the flu. The headmaster and teachers knew, just told the students otherwise._

_-End Flashback-_

"Amu?" Ikuto said, trying to get my attention.

"Sorry," I said burying my face into his chest. "Just… Remembering I guess." My voice was dead, still thick from the fog of the flashback. "A lot was going on when I thought about it…" I started. Not daring to say that dreaded word. "The person had been hurting me the most at that time, and I just, I really don't remember what was going through my head…" Tears feel from my eyes as I shook with silent sobs.

Ikuto comforted me and didn't bring it up after that… Silently telling me, he forgave me.

**((Edited February 25, 2010))**

**A/n: Mannn, epic changes in this chapter. Its like 5 am and I still haven't slept… Been reading some epic webcomics… (:**


	7. Chapter Six: His Heart Beat

I woke up alone. It was pitch black outside and I was still lying on the floor. There was a piece of paper on my desk though. He left again? Was my first coherent thought. Great, thanks Ikuto. I picked up the piece of paper and read it silently.

'_Amu,_

_I had to go get some things from my house, I will be back shortly. Your parents came home around 10pm. And yes they do know I was here. _

_Leave you balcony door unlocked if you wake up before I get back._

_I really do love you,_

_Ikuto'_

I read over the note a couple of times before shrugging and changing into my pajamas. I wore dark pink plaid fleece shorts and a long sleeve black thermal. I crawled into my large pink bed and drifted to sleep quickly, not bothering to wait for Ikuto to get back.

Not long after I fell asleep I felt two strong arms wrap around my waist, Ikuto. I yelped in fear and tried so hard to push him away from me. I looked up to his face to see his eyes again filled with sadness. I mumbled and apology before moving toward the other side of my bed, but this time, I didn't fall asleep quickly. I was left in a silence, I listened to Ikuto's soft breathing from the other side of me, and after about 30 minutes I turned to face him.

His eyes were closed, he was obviously asleep. His breathing was slow and soft. He looked truly peaceful. I lifted my hand and rested it on his face. I had missed him so much, but I was so scared that he could shatter my world into so many more pieces. I ran my hand down his neck and to his chest. I sat and felt Ikuto's heart beat for the longest time. I didn't realize he had been watching me until his hand moved my chin to look into his eyes. They captured mine. Ikuto's eyes were curious, wondering just what the heck I was doing. My face heated up slightly as I stared into his eyes. His hand ran down my neck and just sat on my shoulder as we continued to stare at each other. I yawned and broke our eye contact, feeling my cheeks heat up more. Ikuto moved his hand to my waist as I looked at my hand, I still felt his heart beat, it was soothing. I rested my head cautiously on his chest and moved a little closer to him. The sound of Ikuto's heart beat relaxed me. I fell asleep soon after Ikuto rested his head in the crook of my neck.

I woke up many hours later still in Ikuto's arms. I turned around and looked at the clock next to my bed, 6:15 am. I needed to get up for school. When I tried to pry Ikuto's arms from my waist he only pulled me closer, my back flush with his chest. He stuffed his head into the crook of my shoulder and sighed. His breath tickled my skin and I let out a soft giggle. I sighed in defeat after trying for ten minutes to get Ikuto's arms from around my waist.

"If you don't let go," I threatened. "I won't let you come here for a month." Ikuto's arms automatically loosened. "Thank you." I said as I got up from my bed. I stretched my arms above my head. I felt Ikuto's eyes on me the entire time I stretched and got up. I pulled my uniform from my closet and went in my bathroom to shower. I looked at Ikuto before I left. "Stay." I pointed at him. His lips pulled into a smirk as I walked out the door.

I took a quick shower and blow dried and curled my long hair. It took all of 45 minutes. I walked into my room and saw Ikuto sitting at my desk in a new change of clothes. He and Yoru were staring at my chara's eggs. Ikuto was holding Su's egg and Yoru was sitting next to Miki's egg, a frown evident on his face. I sighed and walked toward my desk to get my homework and cell phone. As I was putting my things in my bag Ikuto grabbed my hand and pulled me to look at him. His eyes locked onto mine.

"Do you feel okay today, Amu-chan?" Ikuto asked his voice strong. I shrugged.

"I'm used to it." I said and pulled my hand from Ikuto's continuing to get ready for school. I heard him sigh from beside me as he started looking at Su's egg again. I pulled my bag over my shoulder and looked at the clock, 7:30. I should leave for school soon. "Ikuto," I said. His head shot toward me, his eyes curious. I raised an eyebrow. "I have to go to school…" He nodded and hopped out my balcony door and to the ground. I shook my head as I walked down stairs. I heard a knock at the door as I went into the kitchen and grabbed a bagel. My mom walked toward the door and answered it.

"Good morning Ikuto-kun." She said. My head shot toward the door and a small smile came upon my lips. Really?

"Good morning Hinamori-san." His deep voice rang through the house. My smile faded into a scowl. Why the heck was he here? I mean, I had just seen him 5 minutes ago. "Hinamori-san if you don't mind, may I walk your daughter to school?"

"Sure Ikuto-kun! Amu-chan!" My mom called. I sighed and picked up my bag and my bagel.

"Yes, mother?" I said frustration evident in my voice.

"Ikuto-kun has offered to walk you to school, go with him!" she said shoving Ikuto and I out the door. I sighed and put my bagel in my mouth. I tied up my hair with my now free hands and walked ahead of Ikuto. What a wonderful morning, interrogation from Ikuto again.

**A/n: Didn't change anything in this chapter. I liked it. Cute fluff. Next chapter is going to be completely redone thought.**


	8. Chapter Seven: An Old Friend

My hands were folded in front of my as I walked with Ikuto, he was standing next to me silently. I was just waiting for him to start the questions.

"So..." Ikuto started, "Will you tell me who it is now?" I sighed and shook my head.

"No, I told you last night. I just don't like that it was someone I trusted." I answered honestly. "And don't even think about asking Rima or Nagihiko." I said looking at his face. His lips formed a pout.

_How cute._ My head shot around. No, it couldn't be. That voice… I don't know what would happen if they came back. I shook it off and looked back at a curious Ikuto. I smiled a small smile and walked in front of him toward Seiyo High School.

_Just a Day just and ordinary Day… _I sang pathetically in my head. Yeah right, my life is no where from ordinary. I faced Ikuto as we reached the gates. His face was laced with a bright smile. He was truly happy, for what reason, hell if I knew. He pulled me in for a soft hug, which I returned hesitantly. I waved back at him once I saw Rima's car pull up. I sighed in relief when she got out of the car and attacked her was a large hug.

"You will not believe the night I had last night." I said. "Gah, Ikuto…" I mumbled not finishing my sentence. Rima pushed me in front of her, her eyes wide.

"What did you two do!?" She practically yelled at me. "He took advantage of you didn't he? I swear-" I put my hand up to stop her.

"You have always had a weird imagination Rima. Nothing like that happened." I said looking at her. Her cheeks flushed a nice red. She mumbled an apology before I went on. "We talked. He knows what happened, just not that it was… You know." I said the last sentence looking at the ground. Rima nodded from above me.

"I heard he was expelled." I snapped my head around and saw the orange hair of one of my former friends. Yaya. I hadn't talk to her in… Two years maybe. I felt bad. My chest filled with guilt as I stared at her.

"Did you mean what you said, that Tadase was expelled?" I asked looking at Yaya with relieved eyes. She nodded and smiled. I sighed, feeling a weight being lifted off of me. I knew it wasn't over though. Tadase would not give up so easily. "Yaya-chan?" I asked looking at her. "Why do you care?" She looked at me and smiled. Her face was warm and happy.

"Just because we haven't hung out in about 2 years… Doesn't mean I stopped caring Amu-chii." She said.

"I'm sorry" I said looking down, my eyes filling with tears.

"No need to apologize Amu-chii." I looked up to see Yaya smiling. I smiled a little at her. She seemed like a different person… She seemed matured. "I know it was hard." She said. The bell rang and she waved at us, walking over to the Junior High section of the school.

"I missed Yaya." Rima said looking ahead with a small smile on her lips. I nodded and walked with her to our first class.

~After School~

Rima, Yaya, and I walked to the front gate together talking about our days. We caught up with Yaya, learning that she and Kairi were dating and that she had a younger sister on the way. I looked around spotting a tall blue haired boy… He just can't leave me be can he?

"Rima-chan." I said quietly turning around in front of the two girls. "Ikuto is here." I pouted. Rima smiled and laughed. I had been saying how I just knew Ikuto was going to be outside the school after school and I did not want to walk home with him. Yaya stood on her tip toes and looked for him. She smiled when she saw him.

"He's gotten better looking Amu-chii." My cheeks heated up. "When are you going to make your move on him?" Yaya always had this weird sense for when people were going to get together…

"He's not that good looking," I mumbled looking away from Rima and Yaya. I heard Yaya whisper something to Rima and Rima laughed. My eyes shot to the two to see both of them wearing a smirk. I glared at them before speaking.

"Don't you even-" I was cut off be two arms wrapping around my waist and me scream in fright. I heard Ikuto's deep laugh from where his head was resting on my shoulder. My face pulled into a scowl as I watched Rima and Yaya break out into a fit of laughter in front of me. I glared at them both while trying to pull Ikuto's arms from my waist. It didn't feel right it was scaring me.

"Ikuto please let go of me." I said. He shook his head from my shoulder, probably smirking at Rima and Yaya. "Ikuto," I said again my voice shaking. "Let go." His arms dropped from my waist and he grabbed my hand instead. I mumbled thanks and looked over at Rima and Yaya. Rima's face had fallen and she was looking at me with a questioning face. Yaya was busy having a glaring contest with Ikuto.

"Are you okay Amu-chan?" Rima asked. I shrugged and looked up at Ikuto who was staring down at me with a worried expression. I sighed and looked back at Rima and Yaya. Yaya was smiling again and Rima had a small smile on her face too.

"I should go home." I said slipping my hand out of Ikuto's. "We have another test in math tomorrow." I waved at Rima and Yaya as they smiled and said goodbye. "Come on Ikuto, I know you'll just end up following me anyway." I smiled at him. A real smile. I didn't know where it came from, but it was real, and it meant something. Ikuto's eyes widened slightly and he smirked at me while following behind me. I sighed and shook me head, another smile forming on my lips. Ikuto will be Ikuto. And I was truly happy that he was himself.

**((Edited February 25, 2010))**

**Whoo, no more Sasaki Kei :D! I actually started to HATE her character as I got to know her better. She was a selfish bitch. (shrugs) And I made her.**

**Well~ Hope you like the edit.**


	9. Chapter Eight: It was HIM?

I looked ahead as I heard Ikuto's footfalls behind me. They were strong, loud and confident. I moved my gaze to the sky, it was dark today, and rain would surely be coming in the next few days. I stared up at the sky as I continued to walk only to have a large hand grab my shoulder before I fell off the sidewalk. My cheeks flushed and I smiled sheepishly back at Ikuto, knowing it had been him who had stopped me from falling into the street.

We walked back to my house in silence, me gazing off in the distance, and Ikuto staring at me. I sighed and stretched my arms when I walked into my door. Ikuto was standing outside. I looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Are you coming in or not?" I asked. A smile played on his lips when he walked in the door. "Easier than climbing up my balcony huh?" I asked, laughing a little. I felt content, not scared at the moment. Ikuto had not once tried to do anything to me. I watched as Ikuto walked into my house. The funny thing is… I honestly don't think I've seen him walk through my front door. I smiled at the thought. Things seemed _normal_ they seemed _real_. No chara's to make it feel like I was in a story book. Not that I didn't love all that happened to me, its just I feel relaxed now.

I walked into the kitchen, noticing a note taped to the fridge.

"_Dear Amu-chan,_

_Papa, Ami, and I went to Grandma and Grandpa's for a long weekend. We're sorry we couldn't take you but you have a lot of school work._

_Love,_

_Mama, Papa, and Ami"_

"Bull," I mumbled after reading the note my parents had left for me. They just didn't want me to go. Angry tears filled my eyes as I crumpled up the note and looked at the 15,000 yen my parents had left me. I let out a shaky sigh and shook my head. Letting a few tears fall I looked over to the kitchen entrance to see Ikuto walking over toward me and pulling me in for a warm hug. His arms were around my neck and his hand was resting on the back of my head, gently pushing my face into his chest. I wrapped my arms hesitantly around his waist, crying softly into his shirt. If I was completely honest with myself, it felt nice, him holding me to his chest, comforting me.

I pulled my face from his chest and looked up to his face. Ikuto's eyes were sad, they always seemed sad around me. His face inched closer to mine as I backed up toward the fridge. Both of his hands beside me head. Locking me in his grasp. I felt my breath hitch as his lips were almost touching mine. I pushed my hands against his chest sobs threatening to escape.

"Tadase stop!" I yelled. My eyes widened as I realized what I had said. My hand shot to my mouth as I watched Ikuto's eyes fill with rage.

"What the hell Amu!" He yelled his face about a foot from mine. "It was that bastard the entire time!?" he yelled. I couldn't stop it anymore. Sobs escaping my lips as I collapsed into his arms. I just couldn't handle knowing I had trusted Tadase so much, and he led me to this. Ikuto's arms tightly around me as sobbed into his shirt. I wrapped my arms around him my hands gripping his shirt. I heard him whispering things into my ear, trying so hard to calm me down. I took deep shaking breaths calming myself down as I pulled away again looking at him face again. My eyes welled with tears when I saw the look on his face.

"I-I'm sorry Ikuto." I said tears again falling down my cheeks again. Ikuto's hands came to my face as he shook his head.

"What are you apologizing for? Being hurt so badly?" Tears continued falling down my cheeks as I stared into his eyes.

"I-I'm hurting you Ikuto." I started. "I don't want-" Ikuto cut me off before I said anything.

"You are _not_ hurting me. You're hurting yourself." I nodded my head, not saying anything. "I don't want you to worry about me." He said. I looked into his eyes and nodded again. I wrapped my arms around hid neck and pulled him down so my lips were by his ear.

"Thank you Ikuto, for everything." I planted a soft kiss on his cheek before pulling away and hugging him tightly again. I groaned as I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I read the screen and pulled away from Ikuto. I turned my back to him only to have him pull my back into his front. I sighed and answered the phone with Ikuto's head on my other shoulder.

"Hi Utau." Ikuto groaned.

"Hi Amu-chan!" she said happily into the phone. "How are things going with Ikuto?" My face flushed.

"Why would you ask s-such a thing?" I said into the phone. Ikuto chuckled from my shoulder.

"Leave us alone Utau!" He said moving his head to the shoulder that I had the phone on.

"That's why Amu-chan." I frowned.

"Yeah, I told him about you know…" I said, I felt Ikuto's jaw clench

"Ah, I see." She said. "Still not going to tell me who it was though?" I sighed.

"Why don't you come over Utau…" I said taking Ikuto's angered head off my shoulder. "It'd mean a lot of I could tell you unlike how Ikuto found out."

"Alight Amu-chan I'll be there in about 15 minutes." Utau said from the other end of the phone. I hung up after we said our goodbyes. Ikuto raised an eyebrow when I turned and started walking toward my couch.

"She found out by herself okay? Drop it." I said looking away from Ikuto when he sat next to me on my couch. I sighed and curled my legs onto the couch. I looked at Ikuto to see him staring at me. I raised an eyebrow and asked, "That's it? You give up or something. Wow. I guess you give up easier now." I started to look away when Ikuto's hand caught my face and turned it toward him, his smirk extremely evident on his face. He brought his face close to mine only to move his lips next to my ear.

"Don't think so little of me _Amu-chan _" he breathed. I shivered and moved his face away from me, my cheeks growing darker with every new blush. I heard a soft knock at the door and got up off the couch. Giggling at Ikuto's groan.

"Hi Utau" I said opening the door. "And Kukai?" I said raising an eyebrow. Kukai smiled sheepishly from beside Utau. Huh. I guess I interrupted something. Utau walked into my house without saying anything and glared at her brother who was lounging on my couch.

"Do you have any decency?" She growled. I laughed and let Kukai in shaking my head. Of course insult your brother before saying hi to one of your best friends.

"Apparently not." I heard Ikuto answer. I could hear his smirk.

**((Edited February 25, 2010))**

**Gah; I love the last lines so much, Ikuto and Utau as HILARIOUS!**

**Yes, Kuuta. Get over it. I like this chapter. I wrote this chapter the day after I wrote the first. I spent WEEKS perfecting it also. So, here ya go (:**


	10. Chapter Nine: Telling His Sister

I plopped on the couch next to Ikuto as Utau continued to interrogate him. I ignored most of it until Utau said something pretty disturbing.

"You didn't rape poor Amu did you!?" My eyes shot to her face and I glared.

"What the hell gave you that idea Utau?" I growled. "It's not like I can't defend myself…" I said looking away from her face, in reality if I could defend myself I wouldn't be in this mess.

"We all that's a load of bull shit Amu." I looked at Utau to see her with a fake smile on her face.

"Yeah, yeah I know. I had to at least try though." I said trying hard to smile, but ending up shaking my head. I looked over at Ikuto to see him look at me intently. I blushed a slight red and over at Kukai and Utau. "Wait." I stopped and looked at Kukai quickly. "You told him!?" I yelled glaring at Utau. She laughed nervously and scratched her head.

"Well you see…" Utau started.

"I made her tell me." Kukai shrugged. I glared at him and Utau.

"You had no right to tell him-" Ikuto cut my off by putting his hand over my mouth. He gave me a sympathetic look.

"He's your friend Amu. Does that mean he doesn't have the right to care about you?" I looked down, automatically feeling guilty. I took Ikuto's hand from my mouth.

"I'm sorry Kukai, Utau." I looked at Ikuto about to apologize, but he shook his head, dismissing my apology. I stayed silent for awhile, everyone looking at me, I fidgeted uncomfortably in my seat.

"Are you going to tell us who it was or not Amu?" asked Utau looking straight at me, her face serious. I nodded and started to talk.

"It was Tadase," I mumbled almost silently.

"I'm sorry? I didn't catch that." She said her voice frustrated.

"It was Tadase," I said with a little bit more strength. I still wasn't okay with it being him, after almost a year and a half of abuse. It's hard to admit it was someone you thought you loved at some point in your life. I looked up from my hands to see Utau and Kukai's faces twisted in what seemed like disgust and rage.

"You're joking right? Tadase couldn't hurt a fly." My eyes snapped in slight anger toward Kukai.

"Why would I lie about something like this? Didn't you hear that he _slapped_ me in front of our entire class?" My eyes became foggy with a new set of tears. I was frustrated with all of the questions and crying. Kukai looked at me in disbelief.

"He slapped you in front of your class?" his voice came out harsh, angry. I nodded my head and looked away. I was still surprised I didn't have a bruise on my face. I took a deep, shaky breath and calmed myself down before looking back at Utau and Kukai. Kukai had a scowl on his face and Utau looked surprised. My eyebrows knitted together at the look on her face.

"What's with the face Utau?" I asked. Her face stayed the same as she answered me.

"I'm just surprised Ikuto hasn't gone out and killed him yet." She said before smirking. "I guess that means I get to help." My eyes widened. Ikuto and Utau looked so much alike when they smirked.

"Please don't kill him…" I said my voice small.

"But why Amu-chan?" Ikuto whined. I looked over at him and smiled a painful smile.

"Cause then I'd lose some of the most important people to me because they committed a felony." I said matter-of-factly, my face still holding my pained smile. I looked down at my lap as I finished my thought, "And I can't lose you again Ikuto. It'd be too hard." I felt everyone's eyes on me as I continued to stare at my lap. Remembering all I had been through in the past three years. Tears filled my eyes remembering all the questioning from Rima I had gotten.

_-Flashback- 2 years 8 months ago_

_I walked to the entrance of Seiyo Middle School. My first day, I should be so excited, but in reality, I was angry, broken, and tired. I was angry that I couldn't bring myself to enjoy the first day of school. I was broken because Ikuto had been gone for 4 months and still hadn't done anything to contact me. And I was tired, tired of trying to put on my fake smile, laugh with fake enthusiasm, and most importantly, tired of not being myself. I heard the footfalls of my best friend from beside me. I could tell it was her. Rima, her steps were light, airy and delicate. _

"_Amu-chan?" Rima's small voice rang. I looked over to her. Not realizing I probably had a pained look on my face. "What happened?" I shook my head and continued forward. Ignoring the throb pulsing through my chest. I felt Rima pull my arm to face her. "Something is wrong. I'm your best friend Amu. I know when something isn't right." Her eyes showed genuine worry. I again ignored the throb in my chest and pushed back the tears that threatened to spill, no, I will _not _cry._

"_Ikuto's gone." I said in a small voice. Saying what I could before she continued to question me. "And I don't know why, but it hurts more than anything." I said looked down at Rima. _

"_Ah, so why do you _think_ it hurts?" she questioned her tone serious. _

"_He's a good friend?" I said, it coming out my like a question._

"_You're too dense Amu-chan." Rima said turning and walking toward our class. Dense? Why was I dense?_

_-End flashback-_

So many more questions followed after that. It was hard not to break down after talking to Rima. I wiped my tear stained cheeks and looked at Kukai and Utau, completely avoiding Ikuto for the risk that I would most definitely blush.

"You know you don't have to be scared of losing us anymore, we're here to stay." I looked at Utau, a smile on my lips. I nodded happy that she had said that. I noticed Utau look over at Kukai and whisper something to him. "We, um have to go…" she said. "We were kinda of uh…" I shot my hands up.

"I _don't_ want to know." I saw Ikuto's face tense up a little.

"All I have to say is," Ikuto said getting up and standing in front of a now standing Kukai and Utau. "Treat her right." I saw a smile play on Ikuto's lips again.

Ikuto and I waved to Utau and Kukai as they walked out my door. I shut my front door softly and shook my head. What a rough couple days…

I then realized I was alone with Ikuto. I felt my heart rate speed up and it felt like a bag of butterflies was released in my stomach and they were hitting the walls of my stomach, hard. I turned from my door to see Ikuto smiling warmly at me, something I can't say I've ever seen before. I felt my cheeks flare and the butterflies in my stomach fly at an even faster pace. When Ikuto's smile turned into a smirk I started backing up only to hit the front door. Ikuto walked over and place his hands on both sides of my head, caging me in again. But this time was different, his eyes showed care, and _love_. My cheeks grew hotter as he brought his lips to my forehead and wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. I felt him bury his face in my hair and let out a content sigh. I took a deep breath, unconsciously taking in the smell of Ikuto.

"You're so strong Amu-chan," he murmured into my hair. I was about to protest when he said three words that made me heart stop, and I _never_, _ever_, thought they would. "I love you." Listened to the sound of his breathing while he continued. "And I wont stop telling you, until you love me back." I pulled away from Ikuto and smiled, my cheeks still slightly flush.

"Well then, that might just take a long time," I started. "I hope you're patient." I saw his face form yet another smile.

"I've waited three years I think I can wait a little bit longer." I felt a slight throb of the still healing wound of Ikuto's leaving. I walked toward my kitchen to get lunch started. But was shocked at what I saw, more like _who_ I saw standing on my porch.

I remembering saying one sentence before hearing Ikuto's worried voice as my world seemed to collapse on top of me again.

"Tadase is here…"

And I was scared of just what the two men would do to each other. Will things ever go my way?

**((Edited March 13, 2010))**

**Been awhile… But yeah whatever read the author's note on the last chapter. **


	11. Chapter Ten: The Encounter

I felt my entire body shake as I saw the look on Ikuto's face, _pure rage_. I backed away from him, truly terrified.

"Ikuto…" I said looking at him with scared eyes. His eyes softened a little when he saw me shrinking from him angered face.

"I won't hurt him… Too much." Ikuto said walking and opening door. "What the hell do you want?" he growled. I watched silently from around the corner, hidden from Tadase.

"Tsukiyomi Ikuto…" Tadase growled back. "What are _you_ doing here?" the tone in Tadase's voice brought back the memories of all the time he'd hurt me…

"I have the right to be here, unlike you." Ikuto said still glaring down at Tadase.

"What are you talking about Tsukiyomi?" Tadase started again, his voice nice this time. "Amu-chan is-" I heard a loud thud and moved over more to see Ikuto had grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pushed him against the wall inside my door way. Ikuto's eyes were furious.

"Do _not_ say her name like that." Ikuto spat. "You have no fucking right." He said his voice not loud but strong and angry.

"And you do?" Tadase countered. "You left Tsukiyomi. For three years. You're the one who has no right to be here." Tadase said his voice growing louder. I noticed Ikuto's grip loosen as his face turned to one of pain. Tadase took this opportunity to get out of Ikuto's grip and start to move toward me. Ikuto quickly grabbed him and hit him against the wall again.

"Don't you dare go near her." Ikuto said, his tone frightening. "I swear to god, I'll rip you to shreds if you even try." I shrunk back, Ikuto's voice was terrifying. I watched as Ikuto pushed Tadase out the door. "Get out and stay the hell away from Amu or you'll have hell to pay." Tadase walked about muttering something I didn't catch. I watched Ikuto's fist ball up, he's obviously heard what Tadase had said.

I walked over and pushed the door close and pulling Ikuto's hand off of it. I let go of his hand and looked up at him. His face was still furious so I backed away and back into my kitchen. I heard him following behind me silently. I ignored it and went to go make come lunch. After opening the fridge and gathering everything I turned around and was shocked to see Ikuto standing right next the fridge his face wearing a sad expression. I turned from him and put the things to make soup on the counter. I got out a knife and started chopping vegetables.

Ikuto walked up next to me and took the knife from my hand and turned me to face him. I felt the butterflies again, storming around in my stomach. I feel the heat rise in my cheeks and I felt my heart race. Really? What was this feeling? And why the hell did it feel so good?

"Are you still angry?" I asked, my voice small and childlike. I kept my eyes on the floor for the fear of blushing even more.

"No, I'm not, I could be never be mad around just you," Ikuto started, pulling my chin up to look him in the eye. "'Cause you're the girl I love the most." My cheeks flared as I tried not to meet his gaze, but failing miserably. I felt his lips touch my cheek, extremely close to my lips and closed my eyes, feeling my cheeks catch fire. Ikuto pulled his face away from mine, his eyes capturing mine like they used to, a smile very clear on his face. Not thinking, mine did too. Why did I feel safe now? Ikuto has just saved me from Tadase, but I felt safe from that before Tadase got here. I felt like I wouldn't be hurt anymore. He'd said he wouldn't let anyone every hurt me again… Did that include him? I stayed staring into Ikuto's eyes.

"Would you ever hurt me Ikuto?" I asked without thinking, but not regretting asking it. Ikuto's eyes seemed to widen before his held my face in his hands again.

"I wouldn't be able to live myself if I did Amu." He said as his eyes still bore into mine. I nodded, still looking into his eyes.

"Thank you Ikuto." I said, breaking our eye contact. He pulled me close to him, rest his head in the crook of my neck. He let out a sigh causing me to shiver. I felt him smirk as I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face into his chest. I closed my eyes contemplating what I was feeling.

I felt warm, not like the cold feeling I had had for the past three years. I felt whole, I knew I wasn't going to break at any moment. Most of all, I felt _happy_. I let myself smile into Ikuto's chest before pulling away.

"Are you hungry?" I asked looking up at him. He nodded and started helping me prepare dinner.

-After Dinner-

I stretched my arms above my head and yawned. Today had been another tiring day. I noticed Ikuto staring at me as I stretched. My face broke out into a scowl.

"Like the view?" I asked in an annoyed tone. I watched as Ikuto smirked.

"My little strawberry isn't so little anymore." My eyes widened as my face flushed. Of course, he just has to be a pervert. I huffed and turned away from him.

"Why do you have to be such a perv?" I asked not meeting his gaze. The butterflies in my stomach still fluttered. Ikuto pulled me next to him on the couch.

"So I can watch you turn into a strawberry." He chuckled turning my face toward his. He took the hand that had turned my face toward him and ran it through my hair and rested it on my cheek again. He looked into my eyes, his eyes filled with love. I felt my cheeks heat up even more as I continued to look at him. I felt my eyes widen as he actually _asked_ the next question. "Can I kiss you?" His eyes still held mine. I could tell he wanted to kiss me, but didn't want to hurt me.

I stared at him, my cheeks on fire. To kiss Ikuto or not to kiss Ikuto? Would I be able to handle it? And why did I want to kiss him _so bad_?

**((Edited March 13, 2010))**

**I like the last couple chapters so you probably won't notice the changes in them.**


	12. Chapter Eleven: The Kiss

**A/n: Just a warning; this story will be getting a **_**little**_** bit sexual. No, I will not be making this a rated 'M' fic. This warning is for the readers under 13 **

I looked into Ikuto eyes and did something neither of us expected.

I pulled his lips to mine and kissed him, hard. I felt him freeze under my lips but soon reacted. His lips were soft, calm and careful. For that I was thankful. As time passed the kiss got more passionate. I felt his tongue touch my lips.

I pulled away, remembering all the times Tadase had shoved his tongue in my mouth. I sat breathing hard, on Ikuto's lap. I really don't know how I had gotten there either. I looked up into his eyes and saw his lips and eyes smiling at me. I'm sure he'd known why I had pulled away, but I noticed the curiosity in his eyes also. I looked down.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. I avoided Ikuto's gaze, my face bright red.

"Why are you-" I cut him off by finishing my thought.

"'Cause I can't kiss you the way I want to." I said still not looking at him. I felt his index finger tilt my chin to look up at his face. Ikuto was smiling, a big, loving smile. I couldn't help but smile back.

"All that matters to me is that you want to." Ikuto said holding me close to him. I closed my eyes and thought of the day I had.

Ikuto telling me he loved him, telling Utau _and_ Kukai about Tadase. Ikuto finding out that Tadase had hurt me. So much had happened in the last few hours. I rested my head against Ikuto's chest and sighed. I felt Ikuto's gaze on my face as I continued to think.

"What?" I said not opening my eyes. Ikuto's hand rested on my face, silently telling me to open my eyes. I opened my eyes and looked at him.

"Something wrong?" I shook my head and looked away from Ikuto's face. I sighed again and got off his lap, stratching as I moved toward the stairs. "Where exactly are you going?" Ikuto asked from his spot on my couch. I looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Well one, I go to school, so I have homework. And two, I need to shower." I shrugged turning away from him and heading to my room. I pulled all my books from my book bag and set them on my desk before turning and getting clothes from my closet. I grabbed my distressed skinny jeans, a white spaghetti strap tank top, and my coral colored sequence sleeveless v-neck.

I took a quick shower and blow dried my hair and put it up in a high ponytail. I walked from my bathroom and into my room and sat at my desk, not even looking anywhere but my desk. I hear a soft chuckle from my bed. My head shot toward it and I saw Ikuto lounging on my bed, of course staring at me. I smiled a little and looked back to my homework. I did my homework in twenty minutes. I only had math, again to study for _another_ test. I looked at the clock, 6:47. I sighed and rested my face on my propped up arm and stared out my balcony window, letting my mind drift.

I felt Ikuto's arms pull me over his shoulder as he carried me downstairs.

I banged my hands against his back.

"What are you doing!?" I yelled giggling along the way. I huffed when he threw my on the couch, glaring at him when he smirked at me. "And what exactly was the reason for that?" I asked looking into Ikuto's deep blue eyes. He shrugged before crashing his lips onto mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me, but pulling away before too long, afraid to let the kiss go to far. I watched a pout form on his lips when he pulled me onto his lap and then resting his head on my shoulder. I looked toward the coffee table to see a book sitting on it, since I obviously was stuck in Ikuto's arms. I grabbed it turning to my marked page.

"The Last Song?" Ikuto asked. Reading the title off the front of the book. I nodded and continued to read the book. "What's it about?" Ikuto asked after I read a couple pages.

"A girl named Ronnie goes to her father's home town over the summer and falls in love." I said shrugging and continuing to read the book. I felt Ikuto nod from my shoulder and felt him read the book with me.

"Who's Will?" Ikuto asked after I finished the chapter. I groaned and marked my page before closing the book.

"You have my full attention now Ikuto. What do you want?" I asked moving to face him. He smirked and kissed my lips softly.

"Nothing." I glared when he said this and got up from his lap moving to find my phone. Once I had it in my hand I felt Ikuto's hands again on my waist. I sighed and looked up at Ikuto. Then looked back down to my phone opening it to read the text message I had gotten.

**To: Amu**

**From: Rima**

**I'm coming over for the movie we planned to watch okay? **

My eyes widened as I sweat dropped… Oh yeah. I heard a knock on my door and pulled Ikuto's arms off of me, but of course he wasn't having that.

"But I wanted Amu-chan to myself." He said into my ear.

"Ikuto get off!" I yelled. "I have to answer the door. I started walking and Ikuto walked with me, his arms still around my waist. "Ikuto…" I groaned in exasperation when I was a few feet away from my door. I opened the door sighing in defeat.

"Hi Amu-What is he doing here?" Rima said. I sweat dropped and looked at her.

"Please make him let go." I whined.

"Hi" Was all Ikuto said. His smirk evident in his voice. My face turned into a scowl. This is going to be _so much fun_, I though sarcastically.

**((Edited March 13, 2010))**

**Lawl, I love Ikuto and Rima (:**


	13. Chapter Twelve: Glaring Contest

I sat and watched Ikuto and my best friend glare at each other, well Rima was glaring and Ikuto was smirking. Dear lord I think Rima might kill him. And how exactly did it end up like this? Well…

_-Flashback- When Rima arrived._

_Rima continued to stare at Ikuto who still had his arms around me. I gave Rima an exasperated look. _

"_Please make him let me go." I groaned out. I watched Rima think and then her face pulled into an evil smirk._

"_Listen Tsukiyomi. Let Amu go or else I'll make sure he balcony door is _always_ locked. Got it?" I felt Ikuto's arms slowly pull away from me. I walked up to Rima and gave her a welcoming and thank you hug. _

"_Thank you!" I said to her a smile on my lips. I looked back at Ikuto and childishly stuck my tongue out at him. I watched his face turn from a pout to a smirk._

"_Put that tongue where it belongs… Unless you what to do something with it, then…" I felt my face heat up and quickly scowled at Ikuto._

"_That's disgusting." I spat at him. "And I have a guest over. You can leave." I said walking towards my living room, Rima snickering behind me. I pulled out the movie we had been planning on watching, _Ps I Love You_. It was a romance and Rima had picked it out. I sighed when I felt Ikuto sit next to me on my couch. I let him put his arm on my shoulder, ignoring the butterflies that erupted in my stomach. _

_As the movie continued I watched it trying not to cry. It was a very sad movie __**(A/n: GAH it is. Sorry 'bout the non-descriptiveness.) **__I felt Ikuto's eyes on me through out the entire movie. Occasionally I felt him press his lips to my forehead or in my hair. When the movie ended I sighed and stretched my arms above my head. _

"_That was a good movie." Rima commented nonchalantly. I nodded and took Ikuto's arm off my shoulder and went into the kitchen, going to get some Pocky and taiyaki. I got two boxes of Pocky and one taiyaki. I threw Rima and Ikuto their dessert and sat between them. I looked from both of them to see them looking at each other. I raised an eyebrow but shook it off, continuing to eat my Pocky. I felt Ikuto pull me close to him and groaned, pushing his arm off of my shoulders._

"_Stop." I said looking at Rima and giving her a sheepish smile. _

"_But Amu," I heard Ikuto start. I glared at him. _

"_I have a friend over, and I told you, you could leave. I do not like cuddling with you." I said listening to my conscience protest. I turned back to Rima about to apologize when I heard Ikuto say something that made Rima want to kill him…_

"_You didn't object to it last night… In your bed I might add." My eyes widened as my cheeks erupted into a deep blush. I looked at Ikuto and gave him a death glare._

"_WHAT!?" Rima yelled, glaring at Ikuto. "DID YOU DEFLOWER OUR POOR AMU!?" I sweat dropped and looked away, my cheeks still pink._

"_Rima… Remember what that word means…" I said still looking away from the two, sweat dropping again. I could hear her brain click before she corrected herself._

"_YOU MOLESTED AMU!?" she yelled in correction. I looked at Ikuto to see a smirk on his face._

"_It is neither rape nor molestation if she wanted it." Ikuto raised his index finger as if he were saying something brilliant. I shot Ikuto another glare._

_-End Flashback-_

And so the glaring/smirking contest continues… Wow, it's been maybe 5 minutes… I don't either of them have blinked. I sighed and turned to Rima.

"I told you earlier, nothing like that happened." I felt the faint blush on my cheeks as I reassured Rima. Rima's face softened a little. She sighed before shooting one last death glare at him.

"I should be going anyway…" She mumbled. "Well Amu-chan… If he hurts you, you know my number." Rima said waving her phone, pushing her speed dial to call her father. Considering she wasn't aloud to walk alone at night. I checked my watch, 9:23. I sighed and walked Rima to the door, letting Ikuto's arm fall harshly from my shoulders.

I waved to Rima as her dad drove off with her to her house. I shut the door and turned to Ikuto, a scowl clearly set on my face. I walked slowly over to him and started talking.

"Next time I have a friend over, you either leave, or keep your damn mouth shut." I said, my voice hard, making sure he got the point. Ikuto smiled innocently and nodded. I shook my head and look away from him, butterflies in my stomach just from a simple smile. I heard Ikuto walk up in front of me, he titled my chin up so I could look at him. He smiled down at me. Warming my heart and making me blush. I smiled back hesitantly. He kissed my forehead in apology.

I felt my eyelids droop as he pulled me close to him. I let out a silent yawn and pulled away from Ikuto.

"I'm tired Ikuto." I said yawing again. Smiling, he lifted me into his arms, taking me upstairs.

I pushed him out the door so I could change. I walked over to my closet and pulled out a large black t-shirt and a pair of pajama shorts. I changed and opened the door before walking over to my bed. I felt Ikuto's eyes on me and I turned. A tired smile on my lips.

"What?" I said. Too tired to notice his eyes on my legs.

"Are you trying to kill me?" Ikuto asked, smiling and looking at my face. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, smiling sweetly at him. I put my lips next to his ear.

"Maybe." I kissed him on his cheek before dropping my arms from his neck. Smirking at the hit of blush on _his_ face. I heard him groan in defeat.

"You're evil you know that?" I nodded and crawled in my bed. I felt the other side of my bed weigh down and shot my eyes open.

"Who said you could sleep in my bed?" I glared tiredly at Ikuto. He smiled and kissed the top of my head.

"I promise I won't do anything. I'm tired too." I sighed and nodded. Turning my back to him.

Ikuto pulled my back to his chest as he got comfortable in my bed. I sighed ignoring the butterflies again, giving up all protests. He ran his nose up the back of my neck before kissing the crock of my neck and resting his head there.

"I'm glad that you're my girlfriend Amu…" he said before I drifted to sleep…

With smile on my face. Thinking maybe, I can be happy now…

**((Edited March 13, 2010))**

**Its been awhile… But finally I made it to the end of my editing. I didn't edit as much as I thought I would. The only chapter that was majorly changed was chapter 5. **

**The last 3 chapter are almost the same as they were before… Just grammar and such fixed. **


	14. Chapter Thirteen: The End?

I woke with Ikuto's arms around my waist. I glanced at my clock before groaning and burying my face in his chest. 6 o'clock in the damn morning. I could probably sleep for another hour since I showered last night. I fell asleep quickly.

I got up at 7 and went down stairs, leaving Ikuto to sleep in my bed. I prepared a quick breakfast and waited for Ikuto to wake up. I grabbed my book that I had abandoned thanks to Ikuto and started to read, quietly enjoying my breakfast and the silence.

Ikuto walked down stairs slowly, rubbing his eyes and smiling at me, a wide loving smile. I smiled back, a silent way of say _"I love you" _He sat across from me and ate the breakfast I had left for him. The morning was calm, not many words were exchanges except Ikuto's quite "I love you"s. I smiled each time he spoke those three words, know I felt the same, but wanted to wait for the perfect time to say it back.

"So Amu-chan…." Ikuto started. I looked up at him as I pulled my hair into a ponytail before we left to walk to school. "Would you like to go to the old amusement park with me?" He asked smiling softly. I'd never seen him act like this, so caring, and _happy_. I smiled again.

"I would love to." Ikuto pulled me close and kissed my forehead, lingering for a few moments before we walked to school.

Yaya and Rima were waiting for me when I got there, Yaya of course bouncing in anticipation. The two waved at Ikuto when they saw him. He kissed me gently before whispering to me.

"I love you, and I'll be here to pick you up after school." I smiled at him and waved as he left. I turned back to Rima and Yaya and smiled widely at them, I think…. I think I was okay. Then and there everything was fine. Everything was going back to normal.

"Amu-chi!" Yaya yelled excitedly, she hugged me tight. "I'm happy for you and Ikuto-san!" I laughed.

"Thanks Yaya." Rima hugged me next, saying something similar. She seemed calmer from last night after seeing us together, how careful Ikuto had been.

School slowly passed, whispers about Tadase still swamping around me during every class. At lunch I finally hear what had truly happened to him.

"He did get expelled, I'm pretty sure he had been doing other things to end up that way. Tsukasa never said what the other reasons for his expulsion were though." Rima said. I nodded. "He's going to study in Tokyo I hear." I raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" I asked. She nodded. I smiled; feeling like a weight had been lifted off my chest. "I hope, I hope things get better." I sighed looking to the sky.

When school finally ended I parted with Rima quickly running up to Ikuto and giving a swift hug. He returned it enthusiastically.

"It's good to see you too." Ikuto smiled. I smiled back, pulling him close again. There was something about him, the seemed… Happier, when I was around. It made my heart flutter and my cheeks shine a light pink. "Come on Amu-chan! We have a full day ahead of us!" Ikuto gripped my hand and pulled me towards a small restaurant down the street from school.

I laughed as we dodged grumpy adults, smiling children and reminiscing elderly couples. The complete happiness I felt? Was the best feeling in the world. I felt myself start to heal in that moment. I felt the breaks and tears in my heart start to sew themselves back together again.

That night with Ikuto was our first official date. Loving kisses were exchanged, smiles were worn, and memories were made. I think that's when I realized, how much I loved Ikuto. How much I need him, and how strong I was bound to him.

_A/N: Hah, long time no chapter right? Well. Here's the end… I am willing to write an epilogue if it is highly requested, so if you want it, feel free to tell me in a review or message!_


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